Smokey Tails Brunch: Not one for the calorie counter

Thanks Seth, you the best

WARNING, the following brunch is not suitable for some audiences…AKA anyone who is attempting to get bikini body ready this summer.

Readers may find some content mouth-watering, luring and teasingly good value for money.

Although it may seem as though we spend our whole lives eating eggs and drinking from champagne glasses, turns out the Belles of Brunch are also big music gals, so Smokey Tails has been on our to do list for a while. Three very cool humans (read their bios here) started the “Beats and Eats” popup last year, which now has a permanent residence at Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen- match made in heaven I’d say. On the sunny Sunday we visited the whole area was just a dream, all the local bars busy and the square full of people lounging in the rays. We welcomed the huge wooden bench style table offered to us in their outside area with open arms.

The bottomless menu is very straight forward:

1. Mama T’s pancakes, fruit compote and vanilla cream
2. Crunchy brioche French toast, fried chicken, bacon & maple syrup
3. Cherry Cola Gammon & fried eggs

X as many times as you like

+ Smokey Tails Bloody Mary // Prosecco // Mimosa // Tea, Coffee or Soft Drink

X as many times as you like

= £30 each

We like them figures. However, I am sure you now understand the initial dietary warning  as the menu seems to take normal foods and either deep fry them or sugar coat them, and in some cases (the French toast), do both and stick bacon on top.

My god though that French toast. OOTW (is that a thing, do people write that?)

We did have a little laugh when oil physically ran down my face whilst eating the chicken, but you know, what’s a potential heart attack for pure taste bud joy!?

They ran out of the gammon after our first round but it was fine, tbh it was our least favourite (should have added whipped cream or something). Pancakes were really top of the class – I do tend to consider myself a connoisseur in such matters.

For some reason in our heads ordering 3 times was acceptable (3 course each) and I left being like “OH we didn’t even over eat only had 3 courses” – IN WHAT WORLD SAM WAS THAT FOOD OK?

Things to rave about:

1. I have found in life that unhealthy food really grabs people’s attention, and the amounts of YUMMM or OMG WHERE ARE YOU messages I got after this brunch was particularly high. This food is a real crowd pleaser ♫♫
2. Not just one for the girls either, def suitable for mixed groups which isn’t always the case with typical brunch spots
3. Good vibes/music. For once we actually stuck around past the bottomless 2 hours just chilling. Sometimes, in this hard working world of brunching, you forget to just kick back and enjoy yourself you know? The staff helped, they were relaxed and chatty – although at one point they forgot our order because the waiter was stopped and interviewed for a hair advert. No hard feelings, they apologized and he did have luscious hair.

Things to mull over:

1. It ain’t healthy. Not one little bit. And there is always the annoying person who will make a comment like “oh its a bit sickening all this sweet stuff”.
2. You know what we actually can’t think of anymore issues, I consulted both the other consumers and they agreed.

So, shake that tail feather to Hoxton and book yourself a table HERE

Make sure you let us know how much you enjoy it!

S 💋